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Child and Parent
The Personality Traffic Light ego states fixed in early childhood are termed the "child." Dr. Berne writes, "The child is in many ways the most valuable part of the personality, and can contribute to the individual's life exactly what an actual child can contribute to family life. Charm, pleasure and creativity." When Jesus first meets the woman at the well, He employs the child ego state to open the conversation with, "Give me a drink of water."1
Child Life
The spontaneous expression of the natural child is sometimes seen in an adult who is drunk."Usually this decommissions the Parent first, so that the adapted child is freed of the parental influence and is transformed by release into the natural child." So the drunk tries to do tricks, cries or laughs uncontrollably, and doesn't care what people are thinking. The kind of people who drink excessively often have a deep desire for Godly satisfaction in their own life, yet just cannot seem to work it out logically. No counseling chain of Bible verses will help them, they have to simply come to God as a little child.
Child and Parent
To the child in all of us, Jesus becomes a friend, a parent, a healer, a comforter, a partner in life. He becomes the Good Shepherd, the Bread of Life, the Vine or the Living Water depending upon our need. "Come unto me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke and put it on you, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in spirit; and you will find rest." 2 Some of us may have a logical grasp on the Way of Salvation but unless we gain something of the child as well it can become merely a cold intellectualism. Didn't Jesus say that unless one becomes like a little child one cannot enter the kingdom of heaven?
The Parent
The "parent" in each one of us has two main functions. First, it enables an individual to act effectively as the parent of actual children, thus promoting the survival of the human race. Secondly, it saves us a good deal of time and energy by making many automatic responses. When we tell someone, "Don't touch!" - they instinctively pull their hand away from whatever it was that was a danger. The parent mode frees a person from the necessity of making innumerable trivial decisions and allows him or her to use either the logical Adult functions or emotive Child functions more fully.
Parent Block
The Parent mode, however, can present problems in a witnessing situation. Some people have been taught by their parents never to discuss religion, so when faith is mentioned their "parent" mechanisms shut down the logical thought patterns and emotions and automatically change the subject or switch off their mind. The "parent" block prevents the "adult" or "child" response. As this is basically an objection to thinking through the subject, the best approach is to search in the Child area for an emotional response to God and work with it. There is always the danger of the fuse blowing again once you mention God but the Holy Spirit can break through at a subconscious level when human resources fail.
Logical Adult
The three responses may be seen quite clearly in the way people relate to God. The "adult" is seen in the verse to verse counseling chains and Bible exposition appealing to the logical traits in all of us. The "child" is seen in the emotional hymn or the quietly repetitive prayer. The "parent" is evident when someone says, "But we were always taught to do it this way," perhaps because a minister or parent had said so! So we can see that by understanding our natural responses more clearly, we may be better able to lead someone to God who would otherwise not find Him.
1John 4:7 2Matthew 11:28,29
"The Evangelism Handbook."
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